


Falling in love with you

by lazycycle



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, I am so sorry, M/M, Song Lyrics, Yoi - Freeform, old fic, otayuri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 17:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazycycle/pseuds/lazycycle
Summary: Otabek can't stop thinking about Yurio.Even after death, the endearing boy is still on his mind all the time.





	Falling in love with you

The wooden coffin was covered in lovely golden engravings, the lines traveling along the soft surface. The noise of people shattering among themselves - sharing gossips and whispering lowly - made Otabek feel all the more alone. No one dared talk to him, everyone avoided him and acted like he wasn't there. Sometimes he wondered if he was a ghost, waiting for his friend to join him.

No such thing would happen of course. His fingers trailed the beautiful pattern, his eyes glued to the box.

"Viktor, Yuri" a priest said, dragging the dark haired boy out of his hypnotic state. The man standing on the other side of the coffin held flowers in his hand, red roses.

"Could you move to the side, please? It is time to open the coffin and say our last goodbyes". Otabek obliged - thinking the priest didn't refer to him because of his relations to the younger boy - and took a slow step backward, but still hesitant. He didn't know if he was ready to see his Yura again. He wasn't sure if his heart would take it. The priest, together with one other man, opened the lid of the coffin, a screeching noise following.

It was the sobbing noise that made Otabek look away. Yuri stood behind him, Viktor holding around his shoulder while whispering soothing words into his ear. Yuri's lower lip quivered, his eyes swollen from nights crying. Viktor didn't look as affected as Yuri did, he had built a thick wall around himself, masking the pain he felt inside. Otabek understood him, ever since the accident he hasn't cried once, you could say he was still in shock from it all.

The priest muttered a few parting words, making the dark-haired male gaze at the body peacefully laying in the box. The second his gaze laid on the blond, his blood went cold and spine enveloped in nasty chills.

His Yura wore a black suit, one that fitted him as perfect as his own skin. His soft hair had been brushed, shaping his face in the same way it usually did. The blond had always been rather pale, but now it horrified Otabek. His skin was as white as chalk, his lips were blue and cheeks sunken. He wanted to look away but was unable to.

This was his fault. If he had just acted differently everything would have been okay. He tried not to think about it, usually, whenever the memory came to haunt him, he would look back at a good day. For example his first sleepover at his house.

_______

_It was a beautiful evening, he was sitting in the blond boy's room while taking in all the posters and object scattered across the floor. That was the day he had learned that the blond ice-skater was a messy person. He had found a marker underneath his duvet (he still can't fathom why he was looking underneath the duvet but sometimes the weirdest of thoughts crossed his mind). Otabek had suddenly gotten an idea and asked the blond to come over._

_"Why?" Yura had asked, staring at him both fondly and confused. "Just sit down beside me" the dark-haired teen ordered, a grin on his face._

_The Russian sat opposite him and looked expectantly._

_Otabek then uncapped the marker and leaned forward, moving the ink covered tip toward the blond's soft cheek. Yurio was taken aback, he sat completely still. On both side of his cheeks Otabek drew three lines, and then at the end covered his nose black._

_"There," he had announced, proud of his masterpiece._

_The Russian male didn't need to look in a mirror to know what his best friend drew on his face._

_"Cat whiskers, really"_

_Otabek smiled a lopsided smile and replied, "really"_

_________

It was a lovely memory, one Otabek would treasure for years to come. He appreciated all the fantastic times they shared, every dance they performed together, both on and off the ice, every time they played a game against each other and yurio would let him win, he even loved the times they fought together.

Except for their very first fight. That was one he wished he could erase from his mind completely. He often begged for his brain to repress it completely. That of course never happened.

___________

_It was hot summer in July, the dark-haired boy had been invited by Viktor Nikiforov to join him, his boyfriend and Yurio on a trip to the beach. At first, he didn't want to, but Yurio silently begged him with his eyes to join when the conversation was brought up. He could never say no to those eyes, pleading desperately, so he said yes._

_Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of people on the beach that day, it being the warmest day so far. Otabek Altin carried with him a towel to sit on and a graphic novel to read._

_It was... a comfortable day, or that was the plan. He was laying on the soft towel, staring at the pages and enjoying himself when suddenly, someone grabbed his graphic novel and jumped a step away while staying on the page he was on. He immediately felt angry, but the anger softened as he saw who it was. Yurio, with his blond hair in a bun, resting at the back of his neck and wearing nothing more than bathing shorts on. His mouth slightly opened as he took the younger teen in. His eyes following every water drop on his skin._

_"What is it you're reading?" He asked and raised a curious brow. Otabek was taken aback by this question, making him sit there, only staring at his best friend._

_When he regained himself he answered, "oh, nothing special. Just a comic I quite like"._

_Then, out of nowhere, yurio took off, running in the opposite direction._

_"Wait, Yurio!" The tall male shouted and sat himself up to run after the younger boy._

_He tried to follow the Russian, but he only heard his small rare chuckles as he ran from corner to corner of ice shops and merchandise stores. He felt annoyed by Yurios childish manner but kept on following him anyway._

_After a few seconds, Yurio suddenly stopped, making Otabek run straight into him, resulting in both following down onto the sand._

_Yurio had turned himself around in the brief time of their fall. He now laid with his back against the sand, otabek laid on top of him, completely still._

_The dark haired boy looked completely mortified, staring down while holding his breath. Yurio, on the other hand, didn't deem the situation awkward at all and instead laughed it off._

_At least, that was how it was at the beginning. After they had both laid there for a few slow seconds, yurio stopped laughing and instead turned completely silent._

_"Ehm..." He began, "you can get off of me now"._

_"Oh, yeah" otabek replied and crawled back._

_A small blush tinted the blond haired boy's cheeks, the brown-haired boy's heart thundered faster than usual._

_They both startled as a song appeared out of nowhere. Otabek almost instantly knew the song had come from his pocket since a phone vibrated like an angry man._

_"Really, can't help falling in love?" He asked yurio as he handed him his phone. The dark haired teen wasn't fond of swimming, so the Russian asked him to hold onto his phone while he took a dip into the water._

_"I like Ingrid Michaelson's cover a lot" Yura mumbled and answered the phone._

\--

_The drive back home wasn't exactly pleasant. It was far from it actually._

_The two teenagers shared the backseat. Yuri and Viktor sat at the front, talking among themselves._

_Yurio was staring with a melancholic expression out the window, forehead pressed against the cool glass and earphones plugged in._

_He hadn't talked to his best friend since the accident._

_Otabek sat straight in his seat, playing with his thumbs nervously. He wanted to break the silence but didn't have the courage to do so. Yurio was surprisingly the first one to speak._

_"Let's just not mention that again" was the only thing he said. The dark haired male nodded, but as the sentence settled in he furiously shook his head._

_"What, no. Why would you say that? There was nothing weird with the situation" he denied. Though, otabek wasn't quite sure if he truly believed that himself. If he truly believed nothing was wrong, he wouldn't be trying to deny anything._

_"It was a weird situation... and an accident" Yura added the last part as an afterthought._

_"Well, if you disliked it so much why did you stop right in front of me!? It wasn't my fault I stumbled into you" Otabek didn't mean to shout, he really didn't. He liked being one of the quiet types who barely said anything, and if he did talk, he did so silently._

_"I don't know!" Yurio shouted back._

_otabek frowned, "Well, then you should get your thoughts straight before-"._

_"Will you two shut up!?" Yuri asked from the seat in the front. Without neither of the boy's noticing, Viktor had stopped the car and Yuri had turned around in his seat, giving them the death glare._

_Wow, everyone was furious tonight._

_________

Otabek didn't quite remember how they resolved the situation. They kind of just went along with it and everything went okay by itself. Several similar instances occurred later though... he recalled them all as his eyes were still locked on the dead blond. His shaking hands moved toward the boy's forehead to slowly brush away a blond strand. He kind of wished he didn't. The second his fingers touched his skin a shiver went through him, his forehead felt cold and stiff. He had to retract his hand.

People all around him were retreating out dining area. He couldn't leave, not yet. He felt several eyes on him but refused to look at them. Everyone would just pity him, he didn't want that.

He wanted to remember his and Yurios first kiss.

______________

_It happened at a chocolate factory. Weird? Yeah, usually first kisses don't happen at factories, often they happen at truth or dear or someone pulls you to the side because their friend told them to. I always deemed it to be hilarious actually, more than anything else. It was a few years ago, Our teacher had planned for us to visit it to understand and reflect on what we are buying and all that jazz._

_The class would stand in a straight line, the teacher at the back making sure no one caused any trouble. A tall and lean woman with puffy cheeks and a bunch of freckles across her nose stood at the front, a badge hung around her neck and a board was placed in her hands. She pointed at the different machines and talked, chewing on a piece of gum between every word._

_The brown haired male didn't listen, his eyes were glued somewhere else. The Shorter boy slouched with hands in his pocket, staring at two males who fought over gods know what. Otabek stared at him, not able to drag his eyes away for even a second._

_Otabek bit his lower lip, his own eyes traveling downwards toward the other male's mouth. Butterflies erupted in his stomach, unsure if he should look away or not._

_The choice was made for him when Yura turned around to look at him, eyebrows raised._

_They continued walking, both boy's had blush tinting their cheeks._

_The woman was still talking, but for otabek, it was nothing but background noise._

_Then, suddenly, someone touched his fingers. A cold sensation, but one that made warmth grow in the pit of his stomach. The fingers held around his own, moving them together. He saw in the corners of his eyes who it was, a mop of blond hair, piercing blue eyes._

_His own fingers tightened its hold and a soft smile grew on his lips._

_Later, when the petite woman opened a door to show some other machines Otabek had never seen or heard about before, the Group accidentally walked away from the two Young boys, even the teacher. The workers had given them some chocolate to taste test. The Young Russian male ended up staying there and eating a bunch of chocolate, ignoring Otabeks pleading for him to stop and follow the Group instead. He was stubborn, Otabek was aware, but he could be stubborn as well._

_He grabbed the plate out of Yurios hands and held it high above his head, out of Reach for the blond boy. Yurio stared at him uninterested before standing up on his toes to rise higher. As Otabek presumed, he was too short._

_"knock it off, I'm hungry" He growled and tried to jump, but to no success. Otabek had to stifle a smile, or else he would have wounded the Young Russians pride. Yura continued trying to get the plate, walking forward on his toes, but Otabek walked backward when his friend walked forward. Before he realized it, they had walked through a big part of the room and he now bumped his back into the metal wall._

_Yurio celebrated Otabeks defeat a little too early, as his eyes widened in victory he stumbled on Otabeks foot and bumped into him, knocking the breath out of the Kazakh male._

_His own brown eyes widened as he realized the position they were in. He gulped and looked away, biting his lower lip nervously. He felt a breath of air on his cheek before it happened, before his heart lifted and goosebumps erupted. It wasn't the ideal Place and time, but at that moment he couldn't care less, the only thing he felt was the mixing feeling of surprise and happiness filling his veins._

_The blonds soft lips were on his own, cold but not uncomfortable. The dark haired teens right hand moved up to cup Yura's cheek, his left laying loosely on his hip, the fabric soft beneath his palms._

_The Russian male held him around his neck with both hands. The tray fell to the floor, but neither couldn't care less._

\------------------------------------

A memory, that was all it was. A memory staining his mind with sadness whenever he remembered the younger boy.

His breath hitched in his throat, his hand was shaking. He was scared it wouldn't stop, this pain covering his heart like a thick layer of dust. This uneasy feeling constantly reminding him of his pathetic mistakes, haunting him every day. He didn't want to remember that day. Didn't want the shaking fear to grow. Windows cracking, bones cracking, lifelines snapping. The dread grew so fast he had to lean forward to steady himself. Otabek's eyes moved toward the dead boys face. The dark-haired boy's throat tightened.

"I'm sorry... I am so so sorry" he mumbled.

A soft voice, sounding like honey echoed through the room

" _Wise men say only fools rush in"_ it sang. Otabeks heart pounded, recognizing the song immediately. Yurio's phone laid in the coffin with him. Otabek couldn't fathom how no one had turned it off.

" _But I can't help falling in love with you_ " it continued. The voice soft like petals, the text a wind carrying them around, making them dance.

_"Shall I stay_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help falling in love with you"_

A chilling feeling enveloped his left side, a sharp cold ran down his spine. He looked toward the window, into the darkness and empty parking lot. Someone stood there, a short silhouette. The dark shadow of a person stretched out their hand, welcoming. A burning pain shot out from Otabeks chest as the sense of dread grew. His knees shook. The silhouette walked closer until he could touch the glass with its pale palm. The glass near his face fogged, but once the white mist disappeared the person's features were completely visible to the dark haired male.

_"Like a river flows surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes"_

A mop of blond hair, piercing blue eyes, pale skin, and startling white teeth. He was a complete copy of the boy laying in the coffin, only now his face was filled with life and posture straight.

Otabek stopped breathing. Stopped caring. He took shaky steps toward the window and held his own palm toward the glass, wanting to touch the other males skin. Wanting to embrace him and cry into the crook of his neck while the relief would fill his veins.

_"Some things are meant to be"_

Yura smiled, a soft one. Most people would mistake it for a scowl, but Otabek knew better. Then suddenly, the window disappeared. The glass smoldering up into thin air. Yura's palm was still up and Otabek did the only thing that would make his nightmares disappear and regret vanish. His fingers touched the Russians, only lingering for a second before completely holding his hand.

They walked through the parking lot together, never letting each other go ever again.

_"Take my hand, take my whole life too_

_For I can't help falling in love with you"_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fic I wrote straight after the show ended. It was originally only for a friend (who for some reason really wanted a fic where Yurio was dead and Otabek was sad.) but I thought I could share it here as well instead of it rotting on my computer. I hope you liked it!


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